(Part One)
Divorce is the death of a marriage, and it produces both loss and grief. The Bible uses strong language when discussing divorce; Malachi 2:16 says: “‘The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect,’ says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.” Malachi shows that the marriage covenant is not to be taken lightly. Because God hates divorce, He hates a broken covenant (Hosea 9:15).
As we continue and point out that divorce is a type of social crime as it breaks the marital covenant and takes protection away from the woman who was afforded it legally in the marriage. Divorce not only puts the one being divorced in a difficult position, but it also causes much suffering for all involved, including the children in the family.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 ‘The LORD, the God of Israel, says that he hates divorce, and him who covers.’” This translation that God hates divorce puts the focus of the passage on God’s hatred of the practice of divorce vs. the hatred of the man doing the divorcing.
Whichever way the verse is translated (God’s hatred toward the practice, or the hatred of the man committing divorce), God is opposed to this type of divorce (faithless husbands sending away their wives) in Malachi 2:13-15. And Malachi is clear that marriage is indeed a covenant derived from the creation account. Marriage involves an oath taken before God, therefore, when it is broken it is broken before God. Before we dive into more of what the Bible has to say about divorce, let’s first take a deeper look at what the Bible says about marriage.
So What Does the Bible Say About Marriage ?
From the very beginning, marriage is depicted as a vital part of God’s creation. In Genesis, we see that God created man and woman and declared, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). This indicates that companionship and support are central to the purpose of marriage. It’s a partnership designed to mirror the unity and love found within the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
Marriage is also about procreation, providing a stable and loving environment for raising children. This is reflected in the command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). But beyond companionship and procreation, marriage serves as a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church. Ephesians 5:25-27 teaches us that husbands should love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” highlighting the sacrificial love that should characterize marital relationships.
Understanding our roles within marriage is crucial for harmony. The Bible provides guidance on these roles, emphasizing mutual respect and love. Husbands are called to lead their families with love and humility. Ephesians 5:25 urges husbands to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This kind of leadership is not about dominance but about sacrificial love and care. Wives, on the other hand, are encouraged to respect and support their husbands. Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” This submission is not about inferiority but about a willing cooperation in the marital relationship, fostering mutual respect and unity.
Living together as humans, we are inevitably going to face conflicts and make mistakes. The Bible recognizes this and places a strong emphasis on forgiveness. Colossians 3:13 advises us to “bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” In marriage, this principle is vital. We must be ready to forgive our spouse’s mistakes and seek reconciliation.
The teachings of Jesus also stress the importance of forgiveness. In Matthew 6:14-15, He says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Forgiveness is not just a nice-to-have but a necessity for a thriving, healthy marriage.
So What Are Biblical Grounds for Divorce
The Bible’s stance on divorce is quite clear: God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). However, it does recognize that there are situations where it becomes permissible, particularly in cases of sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (Matthew 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:15). Even in these cases, divorce is seen as a last resort. The emphasis is always on forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing whenever possible. Separation might be necessary in cases of abuse or unrepentant sin, but divorce should be carefully considered and prayerfully approached. In the Old Testament it taught on divorce in Exodus taught that everyone had three rights within marriage – the rights to food, clothing, and love. (We see these even in Christian marriage vows to “love, honour, and keep.”) Paul taught the same thing: married couples owe each other love (1 Corinthians 7:3-5) and material support (1 Corinthians 7:33-34). If these rights were neglected, the wronged spouse had the right to seek a divorce. Abuse, an extreme form of neglect, also was grounds for divorce. There was debate on whether or not abandonment was grounds for divorce, so Paul dealt with it. He wrote that believers may not abandon their partners and, if they have done so, they should return (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). If someone is abandoned by an unbeliever, or a spouse who will not obey the command to return, then the abandoned person is “no longer bound.”
The Old Testament allows for, and the New Testament affirms, the following Biblical grounds for divorce:
Adultery (in Deuteronomy 24:1, affirmed by Jesus in Matthew 19)
Emotional and physical neglect (in Exodus 21:10-11, affirmed by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7)
Abandonment and abuse (including in neglect, as affirmed in 1 Corinthians 7)
Of course, having grounds for divorce does not mean that one should divorce. God hates divorce, and for good reason. It can be devastating for all involved, and the negative effects can last for years. Divorce always should be a last resort. But God does allow for divorce (and subsequent remarriage) in some cases when marriage vows are broken.
So Where Does the Bible Talk about Divorce ?
The Old Testament: In addition to Malachi there are 2 other passages.
Exodus 21:10-11 “If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.”
Deuteronomy 24:1-5 “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.”
The New Testament
From Jesus – Jesus taught that divorce was permitted by Moses because of the hardness of people’s hearts, but it was not part of God’s original plan for marriage. He emphasized that marriage is meant to be a lifelong union between a man and a woman, as God intended from the beginning.
Matthew 5:31-32 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:1-12 “When Jesus had finished saying these things he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’ ‘Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’ ‘Why then,’ they asked, ‘did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?’ Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.’ The disciples said to him, ‘If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.’ Jesus replied, ‘Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Mark 10:1-12 “Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ ‘What did Moses command you?’ he replied. They said, ‘Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.’ ‘It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,’ Jesus replied. ‘But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’ When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18 “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
From Paul the Apostle
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:39 “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.”
Lesson was presented by: Bro Robert H Brown
